Is this a Buque or a Bus?

Wind whipped through fuBarrio's sundrenched highlights. His tanned face accentuated the impossible whiteness of his perfect smile as he steered his 40 ft Chris Craft Stinger with himself and Golden Lotus across the wake of a passing cruise ship. The boat lept majestically in the air repeatedly crashing down and sending a spray of warm ocean water onto fuBarrio and GL as cheesy sythesizers and guitars played in the background.

The wind generated by his vessel's 70 nauts quickly dried the moisture from his pink tank top and white linen jacket. Meanwhile the sun basked him in it's warmth, and he felt quite comfortable...all except for his feet, which he attributed to his leather weave "wicker" shoes. fuBarrio pushed the sleeves of his jacket up higher on his forearm to check the time.

"We should be pulling into Montevideo any second now," fuBarrio said to Golden Lotus as he pointed to his gleeming, oversized rolex.

Just then, Golden Lotus, nodded and pointed out their white Ferrari Testarossa waiting for them onshore....fuBarrio flashed a smile back to her through his five o'clock shadow and wayfarer sunglasses....

Something was amiss however.

Why did fuBarrio have hair and straight teeth? Where did fuBarrio get enough scratch together for a $600k cigarette boat? Why did Golden Lotus have an afro and look like "Tubbs"? And, most telling, why in the world would fuBarrio be wearing *pink*?!?!

Suddenly, the boat lept up in the air off a monstorous wave and crashed down into the bay jolting fuBarrio awake.

It was nighttime. fuBarrio quickly looked in the reflection cast off of the inside of the window of buquebus seat 7d in horror.

Damn! Still bald!

fuBarrio saw his whisp of white hair, scraggly teeth and spotted grey skin looking back at him through his own empty grey eyes. Golden Lotus sat next to him in seat 7c, restored to her former beauty.

But, where was he?

fuBarrio found himself on the ferry boat/bus combination linking Montevideo to Buenos Aires. While mistaking the ferry ride for a drug running caribbean speed boat would have been a bit strange, the reality was this was the *bus* leg of the journey between Colonia and Montevideo!

The bus continued to course and cruise past anyone crazy enough to stay on the road, and power into the passing lane without regard to oncoming traffic anytime it approached anyone doing less than 75MPH in its path.

The lack of shocks on the BuqueBus meant that what might otherwise be regarded as small inconsistencies in the surface of the highway meant that the entire bus would jump and leap and lurch and bounce like a giant whale, or Don Johnson's boat from Miami Vice cruising through the harbor circa 1984.

fuBarrio rubbed his eyes with the back of a paw as the Bus neared Montevideo city. Still thick with a full day of travel and the fog of sleep, fuBarrio could have sworn that he saw Keanu Reeves leaning over and giving navigational advice to Sandra Bullock.

Regardless of the sharper turns, more traffic and generally tighter navigation paths, there seemed to be some sort of imperative that under NO CIRMCUSTANCES could the bus go under 50MPH!

fuBarrio imagined that Dennis Hopper had rigged the BuqueBus with a bomb that would explode if it dared slow down. But, when the bus glided to a stop at the tres cruces bus terminal, rather than gaining altitude during a leap across a highway overpass and thus defying the laws of gravity, fuBarrio assumed it was safe to "disemBus".

Alas, in the end, the adventure was captured on neither the small screen nor the silver screen....just another insight into life in Montevideo to be shared with all three readers of his forgotten blog (i added one last week!)

If you get motion sick easily, like Golden Lotus, beware the BuqueBus -- the "Bus" part. Believe it or not...the "buque" is pretty smooth.

(as an aside, I guess I found something that is better in Chile than Uruguay! While Uruguay's buses aren't that bad, Chile's buses are top-notch, comfortable, run on time and are VERY cheap relative to other forms of transportation there.)

Ciao for now,
fuBarrio